Britt Nicole is my favorite music artist because of the honesty in her songs. In, “Don’t Worry Now,” she sings frankly about the pain she experienced because of her parents’ divorce. In one of her most recent songs, “All This Time,” Britt praises God for being with her all through all the hardest parts of her life, beginning with when she turned to Him after her parents’ divorce. God is her most constant friend because of their shared experiences.
If your parents are divorced, I’m sure you’ve been through some rough things. Besides the actual divorce, there are countless issues that come up after the divorce that you have had to work through. Thankfully, we are not alone in these experiences. God, our dearest friend and closest advisor, is constantly with us. Each new issue is a chance to grow closer to our Father. He has promised that he will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and we can rest in His companionship. If you haven’t yet, take a few minutes to listen to Britt’s new song. I’m hope you’ll like it as much as I do!
I had my first big crush when I was thirteen. He was a boy who lived around the corner from me. I would clamor to sit next to him on the bus, used any excuse to talk to him, and even prank called him from time to time. One day I urged a friend of mine to call him and find out if he liked me. So she dialed his number while I listened on the other line, scarcely breathing. My heart raced and palms moistened. When my friend asked if he liked me he laughed and said, “Maybe if she was thinner and had a smaller nose.”
My chest tightened, my stomach plummeted. The ground beneath me gave way, the walls closed in around me. After that, I hated my reflection. All I saw was a fat, ugly girl with a beak. I might have been able to dismiss his hurtful words if it hadn’t been for the fact that I had been teased about my looks since I was little. My self-image was poor before even making the phone call. The blow was more than I could bear. For him it was just a mean thing to say, and he probably forgot it within days, maybe hours. For me, it was a moment I have never forgotten and it took years for me to get over.
I became obsessed with my make-up, hairstyles and clothes, using anything I could to detract from what I felt were my glaring flaws. By the time I was fifteen, I gave up trying to look like a supermodel and instead tried to dress as freaky as possible. I dressed in all black or crazy over-the-top thrift store outfits. My face was made up in stark white with dark eyeliner in a large swoop that went from my eye to my hairline, and I painted my lips in dark black or red lipstick. My goal was to put on a mask to hide behind. On the exterior I was tough, someone who didn’t care what people thought of me; a person who rebelled against the norm, who wasn’t afraid to go against the grain. Inside I was sensitive and needy, crying out for someone to love me.
For years I searched in all the wrong places for unconditional love and I always ended up disappointed. I finally became convinced that no one would ever love me the way I wanted and needed to be loved. I was wrong. There was someone who loved me and thought I was beautiful and wonderful just the way I was. He was my creator.
Psalm 139:13-14 reads: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. In Genesis we are told that God created us in His image. You and I were created in the image of God and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are not accidents. We are not mistakes. We are his beloved creation and when He sees us His heart is ravished with love. Song of Songs 2:10 says: My lover spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.” Jesus is our lover and we are his bride. He is calling us beautiful and drawing us to himself. In Song of Songs 4:7 it reads: All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
Jesus thinks I am beautiful just as I am. He doesn’t want me to have a smaller nose or thinner body. He doesn’t judge me as the world does. He isn’t comparing me to supermodels or the world’s idea of beauty. When I finally let go of my expectations of the world’s idea of me and looked to God for my self-worth, I was able to see myself the way He does.
Now when I look in the mirror I see a beautiful woman. I see a child of the most-high God. I see Jesus’ bride. I know who I am and no one can take that from me.
God wants you to know how amazing you are.
You are gorgeous. You are precious. You are valued. You are loved.
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It’s a girl thing. We want that special guy we’ve been dating to define the relationship. Are we dating exclusively? Am I your girlfriend? Can I call you my boyfriend? Our perception: The time we’re spending together has the potential to be something good, but we need some clarification. It’s just the way we’re wired.
Jesus left no doubt. He clearly defined the relationship He wants with us.
“I know your deeds, that you are neither hot or cold. I wish you were either one or the other. So because you are lukewarm neither hot nor cold I’m about to spit you out of my mouth.” Revelations 3:15-16
How would you define your relationship with Jesus? The status of your heavenly relationship is crucial to every other relationship in your life. The dissolution of your parents’ marriage may have you in a tailspin and maybe you’re confused or angry with God. This is understandable. Heartbreak is unique for everyone and there isn’t a miracle prescription to make you feel better. How do you ask for God’s help when there are no words? Apostle Paul gave us clear instruction in Romans 8:26. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans words cannot express.” Romans 8:26
Approach God in reverence and let the Holy Spirit intercede for you during this difficult time.
Pain and confusion can easily turn us away from God. Ask Him to help you if you’re tempted to say or do anything out of revenge or anger and He will protect you. Make sure you let Jesus know you want a relationship with Him and ask for forgiveness if you’ve been slack in your relationship. Carve out time with Him every day. Then live in gratitude knowing the healing process has begun.
Know I’m praying for you,
This is a phrase we use if we don’t want to talk about something. What’s goes on in your home life is personal. Even though it’s painful, it’s personal. Do you ever feel this way? Many times it’s personal means it’s too painful to talk about. Anger and disappointment with your parents may be too painful to even talk to Jesus about right now. Finding words to describe what you’re feeling is sometimes impossible, but here’s the beauty of going to Jesus. He’s already thinking about you and He knows what you’re going through.
“How precious to (concerning) me are your thoughts O God! How vast is the sum of them. Were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.” Psalm 139:17-18
It’s personal with Jesus. You’re personal. He thinks about you all the time. His thoughts for you equal the grains of sand. Imagine counting the grains of sand at the ocean. You couldn’t. They’re infinite. Call on Him and give Him your pain and your anger.
Encouragement: As you make your New Year resolutions please include spending more time with God on your list. Jesus has a better life planned for you so don’t waste time with pain and fear. Leave it with Jesus every morning and move through each day with a new bounce in your step. Now, that’s something to smile about.
Know I’m praying for you,
“How will this be”, Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” Luke 1:34 Mary’s reaction to the angel is the same reaction any of us would’ve had. It’s impossible for a virgin to get pregnant. Human common sense tells us this but God isn’t human and He can do the impossible. If you have holiday/family issues that seem impossible think about young Mary. Think about the new circumstances her life took because of her pregnancy. Consider her response. “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered, May it be to me as you have said.” And the angel left her. Luke 1:38. She had full and complete trust in her Heavenly Father. Follow Mary’s lead and trust God to help you find joy this holiday season.