Have you ever thought that if you just love someone enough you could fix them? That through your constant love and pursuit, their brokenness would some how be healed? Or have you ever desired the love of someone else so much that you convinced yourself that their love is literally all you need? You tell yourself that this lack of love is the missing piece to the puzzle so to speak, yet once you finally receive the love you had always dreamed about, you still felt empty and incomplete.
I can almost guarantee that at some point in your life you will most likely experience both of the aforementioned thought patterns. Perhaps you are currently struggling with these thoughts as you try to pour out love into your parents’ relationship hoping and praying that your love is just what they need to escape divorce. Or maybe you have found yourself longing to be loved and accepted by a certain group of people at school, or by that certain guy who you have been dating and dreaming about for so long.
Highly acclaimed Christian writer and speaker Beth Moore reflects on our inability as sinful human beings to love someone “complete” or to be loved “complete” by another individual. In one of Moore’s powerful devotionals, she tells the story of her adopted son Michael. Moore confesses that her and her husband were convinced that through their constant love for Michael and their continuous provision for him that they just knew their love would be enough to take away the hurt from his painful past. Moore states that it only took a short while to realize her and her husband’s love would NEVER be able to restore Michael’s broken heart. She concludes her account by stating the following:
1. God is the One and only One who can love anyone to wholeness.
2. Even Almighty God refuses to make anyone accept His love.
Whatever your situation is, your love or their love is not enough. It will never take away the hurt and it will never make you complete. Because we are broken and filled with sin, the way we love and receive love in this world will forever be flawed by our sinful nature. The only love that can truly take away our hurt, our past, our pain is God’s unfailing love. Look away from whatever shifting source you are pouring your love into and turn your eyes to God. Let your heart accept with joy the wonders of His perfect love. He will complete you. Only He can make you whole. Choose Him today.
Your life here on earth is guided by two different forces: God’s truth and Satan’s deception. Literally every decision that you make can be placed into these two categories. Unfortunately, as Christians, choosing God’s truth will always be the more difficult, unnatural, and sometimes even painful choice.
If you are a product of a divorce home, you know how easy and tempting it can be at times to justify your decisions based upon the pain you are carrying in your hearts. Perhaps you have ascertained the idea of compromise in your relationship with guys because you think physical pleasure will take away your internal pain. Or you have found various other unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with your hurt. Maybe you have deceived yourself into thinking God will be okay with your sinful decisions because He knows how difficult things are at home. He knows how badly you are hurting and He will simply give you a “free pass” so to speak wherever you deem it necessary.
This is absolutely NOT God’s truth. God will always hold you accountable for your actions and He will always desire you to take the righteous path. Yes, He knows how badly you are hurting, but because you trust in His ways, you cannot act based on your own rational.
You are worthy of God’s unconditional love. You are worthy of God’s infinite grace. You are worth every bit of pain that Christ had to bear on the cross. You are worthy of a Father whose love knows no end and whose promises never fail.
I beg of you to choose His truth today- yes it will be hard. Yes it will feel unnatural and even painful, but it is worth it. His truth is so incredibly worth it.
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands.”
Have you ever had one of those “Aha” moments? When things suddenly shift into focus and you see God’s work all throughout your life?
For the first time in a long time, you are able to see that the pain, the hurt, and the brokenness have all been a part of God’s perfect plan for you. You realize that life isn’t about dealing and coping with the painfulness of your situation, but rather seeking to find God’s presence throughout this difficult season of your life.
If you come from a divorced home, my guess is that you rarely get the opportunity to see or speak with others who are experiencing or have experienced far greater pain than yourself. You might find yourself thinking that your life is the most difficult… that everyone else has it so easy… or no one will ever understand how hard it is to trust that God has your situation under control.
I fall into this trap so frequently. It is a constant struggle to remind myself not to become paralyzed by my current circumstances; to remind myself that there is hope in my situation and that God is undoubtedly on my side.
I recently met a young woman who lost her sister at age 13 to a rare form of cancer. Now, almost 12 years later, her father was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
This young woman has suffered such incredible loss throughout her young life, and now to be hit again with the reality that she could also lose her dad to this terrible disease is more than one should ever have to bare. As she shared her story with me, I couldn’t help but ask, “Do you ever struggle with your anger towards God for all that He has allowed to happen to your family?” She smiled back at me, and with tears in her eyes she replied, “Not for one minute…yes, we have had to face a great darkness, but we have seen God’s presence in our pain time and time again. We have never, ever doubted His plan.”
God never promised that this life would be easy, but rest assured, He did promise that He will hold our hand the entire way through.
I pray that God will bless you with your own “Aha” moment this week, and that you will be able to undeniably identify His work in your life.
“God has made my heart faint; the almighty has terrified me. Yet I am not silenced by the darkness, by the thick darkness that covers my face.”
Do you ever feel as though you have the worst luck in the world? Do you feel as though you are never able to catch a break? That bad things and events are all that follow you?
Perhaps you were hopeful that 2012 would be your year; a year of change and transformation for the good. Perhaps you felt as thought he tables were about to turn and a life of joy and happiness was headed your way. Perhaps you fully believed that God had heard your prayers and had finally decided to pour out His blessings upon you…But now, only nine days into the new year your world has already been rocked. The fighting has not stopped. Your parents are still not speaking to one another. You still have to choose sides. You still have to relive the divorce every single day. Already, your hope for a new year has been shattered.
You are not alone in the way that you feel. Throughout the bible there are hundreds of examples of men and women who were faithful servants to our Lord what at times felt as though they could never catch a break. These men and women no doubt questioned God’s authority because of the circumstances they were experiencing.
The entire book of Job in the Old Testament is about God allowing Satan to attempt to destroy Job’s faithfulness to God. Satan tried every route, every avenue throughout his attempt to ruin Job; he literally took everything from Job, yet still Job remained faithful.
Do you feel as though your life mirrors that of Job’s? Are you struggling to understand why God has allowed such terrible darkness into your life?
I wish I could give you an explanation for why God has allowed things to unfold as He has, but no one can answer that question. All I know to tell you today is that we must trust Him and His plan for our lives. He makes all things come together for His good.
May you embrace these words from Job and be encouraged to hold on to your faith.
At the end of Job’s trials, God restored Job and blessed him more than he could have ever imagined.
Your suffering has purpose. Hold on and have faith.
An event that occurred in a subject’s past, the memory of which was actively repressed often because of the psychologically devastating impact of that memory.
It is simply mind blowing how your brain works. The way it processes events, emotions, information, and injuries, it is constantly running, constantly processing and constantly staying one step ahead of the rest of your body. The mind is a beautiful thing, it is what allows us to feel emotions, store incredible amounts of information, and it harbors our most precious memories.
But what happens when your mind is hurt? When it becomes severed with the emotional pain from a divorce, a heart-break, the loss of a loved one? What happens when your emotion becomes too much for your mind to bear after experiencing a traumatic event?
For lack of better words, your mind goes into automatic protection mode; it naturally starts to build emotional walls that will protect you from having to process intense emotional pain. Your mind, on its own, begins to sort through old memories trying to decipher which ones bring you joy and which ones bring you pain- yet the direction in which it sorts can go in two very different directions.
As Christians, we are blessed to have Christ ruling over our minds, but rest assured, if your mind is not sealed with his protection, Satan can destroy your mind; he can take away your joy, he will take away your hope, he will take away every precious memory your mind had stored.
There was a long period of time when my own mind was not sealed with God’s protection, and as a result, Satan almost robbed me of all my precious memories. By the time I asked God to be my Savior, the only memories of my past that I had left were the terrible ones; the yelling, the tears, the infidelity, the drugs, the depression. Because I did not have Christ protecting my mind, Satan was able to repress almost every wonderful memory that I had of my parents before the divorce. Simply put, he tried to steal and erase everything good God had done in my life.
Satan wants you to forget the good.
You have to fight for your memories. You have to fight to remember what life was like before the divorce. You have to take those precious moments that brought you so much joy and beg God to help you protect them. Beg God to help you hold on to His blessing. Beg Him to seal off your mind from the devastation of Satan’s ways.