I watched out the window as shadowy fields of corn passed by our car. As usual, my genius dad had picked a topic from his pool of knowledge and was intently expounding upon it to his carload of listening ears. My brother, sister, and myself were riding back to his house for our weekly visit. While I continued to nod in the right places, my thoughts were concentrated on the war going on inside my heart.
The man beside me had left my family. As hard as I tried, I simply couldn’t forget the ways his choices affected my life. Even during a conversation or working on a project with him, the thought always lurked in the background – “this man left me.”
I almost smiled at the fact that my dad knew nothing of what was going on inside my head. He continued to carefully explain the process of milk homogenization as questions flew around in my heart.
Could I forgive him? I knew deep down that I should, but it seemed too hard. I had held on to this grudge for so long that I didn’t want to let it go. Even if I wanted to forgive him, how could I when the reality of his sin stayed the same?
But then a reminder from God burst like a ray of light into my confused thoughts. God had forgiven me; how could I not forgive my dad?
In that second my view of my dad completely changed. He was the one living without the hope of the Gospel. As far as I knew, he had not reconciled with God after his sin. How could I have been so selfish as to think that I was the one who needed sympathy? Of course it was a terrible thing that he did, and he had definitely hurt me, but in light of eternity I was much better off than my dad.
I have been forgiven of many, many sins. Because of this my future is bright with promise and I live with God’s assurance of eternal life. How can I hold a grudge against a man who does not have this hope?